Salsa & Soup - Part Deux

Originally Posted on January 24, 2006

Chapter 2 - Let's Fight!

Relationships are a lot like plants. You plant a seed and you tend to it everyday. We shower it with love, support, understanding, empathy and most of all... prayers! But are we suppose to abandon the seed if it does not sprout life soon? Or do we have faith and patience to see it comes to life. In all honesty, do we really give it a fighting chance? Does the seed bears potential fruitfulness that would be worth the time and effort?
Many are too hasty or too confident to call it quits before its time. In this day and age where we are tuned to the pace of instant everything, it has conditioned us to seek instant gratification, rewards, fruits of our labour and even instant love. But human emotions are extremely complex and rather phenomenal too.

What we may not see with the naked eye like the seed growing roots in the soil below, does that mean it isn't there?

What we may not feel this instant for we may not be seeking the right emotion in the right place in our hearts in the right time or frame of mind, does that mean it isn't there?
But how long should we wait and when do we quit? Yes, it is true that it is futile to be in a relationship that isn't meant to be. Many too have stayed on when it was long overdue. I know that first hand being in one for 9 years before I left. But at least I know that I have given it the faith, patience and the fighting chance it deserved.

Of Spicy Salsa & Simmering Soup

Originally Posted on January 23, 2006

It's been a long long while since my last blog... although there was so much to say in between but nothing left me as compelled to spew my thoughts as much as this.

Chapter 1 - Definition
Infatuation and Love like Spicy Salsa and Simmering Soup?

What is infatuation?
1: foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration
2: temporary love of an adolescent [syn: puppy love, calf love, crush]
3: an object of extravagant short-lived passion

What is love?
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
4. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person).
5. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).

When does one end and the other begin? Too many times we have encountered both personally and thru the lifes of our closest friends. When the infatuation fades and reality sets in... what happens after that? Do we abandon ship when we no longer feel the flutter in our hearts? Or does it slow down to a warm simmer? Will it bring a glow in our hearts when given a chance to grow?

Stay tuned for chapter 2...

The Confessions of a Semi Banana

Originally Posted on November 18, 2005

A Semi-Banana's reflection on "The Girl from Ipoh".

Definition of Semi-Banana:: 3 decade-old single female, yellow on the outside - white on the inside. Chinese-illiterate but speaks rather comprehendible hokkien and cantonese.

Alright, alright! Yes, I know the review is a tad too late since I actually watched it last Sunday. But then again, am I not just being a true Malaysian and keeping to our famous tardiness?
I must say kudos to Low Ngai Yuen for writing such an amusing play. A myriad of adjectives comes to mind - corny, hilarious, blatantly-truthful and even poignant. My thoughts were shared by others when I say it is a localised version of Bridget Jones. Female psychosis in its full glory transcends race, religion or geographical locations.
A fictional character Wong Mei Lee may be, but in her we see parts of ourselves that maybe we were too "banana" or too "woman" to see before. I find myself wanting to strangle the daylights out of her and only to realise why - I see myself in her.

Many of us were sent to missionary schools or public schools by our parents who believed that these schools will give us the added advantage of mastering the international language - English - hence, a brighter future. The Chinese language was merely spoken in its colloquial form at home - at best. Mingling with fellow bananas and semi-bananas did not help either.
I spent my formative childhood years at the Holy Infant Jesus Convent in Kelang. Sigh ... also known as Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Convent and later went on to Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent before arriving in a hell hole of a school in the form of Sekolah Menengah Seaport in SS3 PJ where I spent my last 3 years of public education. (Ok .. fellow Seaportians, do not bash me. You know very well I am speaking the truth)

Yes, I may not speak Chinese well, I cannot sing Chinese songs in Karaoke, I may not be aware of 1,001 rules and taboos in the Chinese culture and tradition (I doubt any individual does). Yes, I may know Hamlet, Macbeth and Julius Caesar better than I know The Romance of the Three Kingdom. Yes, I may know Gaudi's architectural marvels better than I know of ... err... the Great Wall of China. Yes, I admit to enjoying my time with fellow bananas and gwailos better. It is so because of the commonality in interest and mindset rather than race or social makeup. I have been called names from Potato Queen to SPG - especially so in the 2 years of dating a gwailo. (Sorry, honey - no offense intended)

Should I be subjected to such judgements? Am I not merely being the product of the environment which I was exposed to.

As I grow older, I learn more about the beauty of my heritage, my Chinese roots and I am very truly proud of it. I am proud to BE part of it - vertically-challenged, flat nose, chinky eyes and all. A mahjong kaki - I am. I am desperately learning to speak Mandarin and read Chinese - in the hopes of not being a wallflower during karaoke sessions. I love the Cheong Sam or Qipao and proudly own a few pieces myself. I speak Cantonese for most part of the day when I am at work. And many more bits and bytes on how "Chinese" I am becoming.

But does this maketh me more Chinese than before? Am I not the same person who believed in filial piety, diligence and loyalty? Yes, I am. Aren't these an example of the core values of being Chinese?

What maketh a Chinese truly Chinese then?

Apologies - Elixir of Healing

Original Posting - November 17, 2005
cynicism level :: 44%, neurotism level :: 69%

Apology - comprises of 3 little words when uttered usually brings comfort and healing to open wounds.

How well does the wounded heart heal? The physical anatomy of the human heart is amazingly resilient - pumping over 130 bpm during cardiovascular exercises. Yet, it is extremely delicate and fragile. Some will heal in time but the scars remain and some may never heal. Like a beautiful vase, once broken and mended will never be the same again. All the super adhesives in the world cannot mend a repeatedly broken vase.

A text came from 11,000kms away on a bright and early Wednesday morn. After 5 months of recuperation, the last knock came and the vase is broken for the very last time.
Apologies are the very essence of recuperation but like all healing elixirs, it loses its potency once over-abused. Hence, the final draw comes in the form of inoculation and quarantine of the infectious agent.

Once again, the vase is now in safe hands... and will return to its prior glorious state.